5 Lessons in Negotiation from an FBI Hostage Negotiator
About This Episode
Shaan Puri interviews former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss to uncover the psychological techniques used to handle high-stakes crises and business deals. The discussion focuses on 'tactical empathy,' the power of making others feel heard, and why traditional concepts like compromise and leverage are often counterproductive.
Episode Description
Show Notes
- 0:00The hijack moment
- 10:04High stakes hostage negotiation
- 20:53Rule 1. You have imperfect information
- 23:51Rule 2. Label
- 28:00Rule 3. Go for no
- 34:30Rule 4. Leverage will never make you a better negotiator
- 36:53Rule 5. Be predictable
- 39:00Oprah as a master negotiator
- 42:49How to prep for a negotiation
- 47:46Chris Voss in situ
- 50:23Parenting advice from a hostage negotiator
- 52:38Let them talk
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Key Takeaways
Resist the 'hijack points' of conversation by overcoming the urge to correct the other person or 'story steal' with your own experiences, which allows the other party to feel fully heard and bonded to you.
Use 'labels'—observations about the other person's state such as 'You seem centered' or 'It seems like you're under a lot of pressure'—to trigger bonding chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin that make people more honest and less demanding.
Master 'no-oriented' questions like 'Would it be ridiculous to...?' to make the other party feel safe and in control, as people naturally feel more protected saying 'no' than being pushed toward a 'yes.'